Orphened at eighteen

At eighteen my Father kicked me out of the house. I was without a job and had it not been for my boyfriend and his family I would have been without a roof over my head as well. It is when I needed help the most that I realized who truely loves and cares about me and the ones that don't. I have to admit that what found out was both shocking yet not. Most of my family is in another state, I try to keep in contact through E-mail, I usually get a letter or two from my Grandma a month, And I have not heard much from my sister in a few months. The rest of my family I have had no contact with since I moved in with my Father three years ago now. I guess I really can be called an orphen now. For my Mother has never really been in my life at all, I only have very vague memories of her and those are from when I was in Kindergarden. I have no contact with my family on that side nor my brothers, I won't say that none of them on either side have not crossed my mind for they have many times, Along with the questions I ask myself and will continue to do so until I can reach the answers I need. If I can ever have these answers..

Morbitity

While most of my posts are a bit morbid,I don't look at everything that way.I do believe in possitive things and being possitive in itself. Like they say, ' Its easy to sit around moping and complaining, but it takes somthing more to actually get up and do somthing about it.' That's the person I want to be, someone who takes action, who trys to make a difference.
Its all how a person sees things. The cup can be half empty or half full. And one person really can make a difference, even throughout history people can see this. but the influences they make can either be good or bad, like Hitler and Manson or Rosa Parks

Immortals-cont.

Hours- Sisters of the Fates
Hyperion-Titan, Father of Dawn
Hypnos-Sleep, father of Thanales
Io-Heifer maiden
Iris-Female messenger
Kalypso(c)-nympth
Kronos-Lord of Titans. Zues's Father
Leto- Mother of Apollo, Artemis
Medusa
Muses- Nine sisters
Nereids-Daughters of Nereus
Odysseus- Traveler
Pan-Goat God
Persephone-Wife of Hades
Poseidon-Earth shaker
Prometheus-Rebel God
Rheia-Mother of Olypians
Rivers-in the iliad
Skylla-Beast with six heads
Styx-oath river
Thanatos-Death God
Thetis-Mother of Achilleus
Winds-children of the Dawn
Zeus-The Alpha of Immortals

Immortals of Greek Mythology

Aphrodite-Goddess of love
Apollo-Son of Zues
Ares-God of war
Artemis-daughter of Zues
Athene-The spoiler, Godess of Wisdom
Cheiron-The centuar
Circe-The dread Godess
Dawn- The Godess Eos
Demeter-Godess of the Harvest
Dione-A mother of Aphrodite
Enyo-One of the Grey Sisters
Eos-Godess of the Dawn
Erida- The Godess of Hate
Erinyes- The mist walker
Eris-Twin sister of Mres
Eros- Archer of love
Eurynome-Mother of the Graces
Fates-decide the lives of men
Gorgon-medusa
Graces-may they bless you
Hades- God of the underworld
Hebe-Wife of Herakles
Helios-The sun God
Hephaistos-God of the smith
Hera- Wife of Zeus
Herakles- Hero
Hermes-messenger
Hestia-Godess of the Hearth

Always Change

Even from just a few months ago everything has changed, yet not so much. i'm different yet, am i the same? how could i be? i've done things in my life, some bad, but do i regret them? no. people might say " oh your ruining your life" i say how exactly is that possible? As long as your alive your life is not 'ruined' It could all fall down around you, but you still have the option of getting back up again. life is about choice, your choice. you cannot ever really even be 'forced' to do somthing. If someone had a gun to your head, for example, you might say, you had no choice but to do what they wanted but even then you did. maybe there was somthing you could use as a weapon, or a chancey alternative. even death would be a different way, other than doing their wishes. your never 'truely' trapped. on the outside anyway.
but perhaps the hardest thing to fight is yourself, within. when you are unsure. or have to make that choice. your the one you have to go to. your the hardest one to fight

Immortality

can we ever stop this crazy roller coaster ride called life? More over, do we want to? A lot of us still search for the ways of becoming immortal, some have actually succeeded in a sad twisted kind of way.no they are not in any way alive physically, but they live on.
what I am trying to say is, who doesn't know of Jack the Ripper or of say Vlad Dracula? And wasn't he the one to truly start the whole immortal vampire business? No not exactly him but brahm stoker, who portayed his character in his books, that later let to even videos and comics ( stoker wasn't exactly the first there either, but the best known)
of coarse being some phyco killer is not the only way to live on, we survive by our works also, our books, poems, every written word, that is us. Maybe we won't be completely remembered that way. Some people don't even look at the author of the work, to them the author is just another nameless faceless person. Who wants to be that? But in this world it is really the best we have, at least maybe we have a chance to influence another
a chance, a very small hope, that someone will find ,of all the others, our work out there
my fate-if you believe, or chance maybe someone will
can they find me, before I am just another memory?
..One that has been forgotten
bone turned to ash?
I can only hope

wilted flowers

fade
they don't see you here
death
your living tomb
hope
of no existance
thoughts
of no excape

mourn
your soul in peril
live
your only life
fade
away like wilted flowers
since
no one know your strife



locked away forever in your silent tomb
in this world, for you, there was never any room....

Feel

I feel tired today, which is strange since last night I actually had a decent sleep, by decent I mean I was asleep before three a.m.
but at least I only woke up a few times instead of several times every hour,which has become normal for me.
I also have this very strange feeling on top of it, I don't dare even try to explain it. It's one of those feelings that can make a person question their entire existence.
I feel like I am always at battle with myself part of me doesn't mind fading away and the other well defiantly does.

ghost

That is how i feel sometimes, like i am simply doomed to fade away. very few people even know me in the rw.
i dislike this, but i feel there is nothing i can do about it. i can't keep friends, eventually all break away from me.
so i am not hopeful in long-distance relationships either.i feel alone in this world.

And another thing, completly off topic. i might be able to write whole books, but when it comes to blogs, well
i am unable to ramble on like so many others that i have seen. first, i am too lazy to read long blogs anyway, so i don't want to have anyone suffer through mine, since it should be quite obvious that i have nothing of any real importance to say, at least that is how i feel about it.

I wish there was more going on in this head of mine sometimes, i really do. but there is not.so i just have to pull out what comes to me randomly. it is kind of how my life is anyway. a bunch of random things pulled together.

for now this is all that this ghost has to say